It was sometime after week 2 when a fellow Honey Bunny and I were sitting beachside and sipping on cocktails during our afternoon off.  “You know what I really want?” she asked me right around drink #2.  “I just want to take a shit in peace, you know?”

Why yes.  Yes I did.

When I first arrived at the clinic, there were 6 of us in the house.  That quickly blossomed into 9.  When space ran out , another 4 volunteers lived off-site but spent their days at the clinic.  That’s a really, really full house for just 1 bathroom.

Girls are not like boys.  We’re not Neanderthals that can just wander into the communal bathroom cave and cop a squat.  We’re ladies and a lady does not, you know, do that.  So it was a revelation that another girl was voicing the turmoil we were all silently suffering.

I don’t know how, but some sort of silent cosmic alarm would be set off as soon as someone’s ass cheeks would hit the toilet seat.  You could expect one of several things to happen (sometimes several of these things in combination)

  • A person will knock on the bathroom door
  • Someone will assume the door is not really locked, they just need to really put their shoulder into it and give it 2, maybe 3 really good body slams
  • A person will use the shower in the room that shares the wall with the toilet.
  • A gaggle of people will have a conversation just outside the bathroom door
  • A pop-up roundtable gathering will spontaneously occur in the dining room conveniently located about 3 feet from the bathroom door
  • A person will begin hanging laundry just outside the bathroom window
  • The entire island community congregates just outside the bathroom window to play with the puppies
  • And if you dared try to circumvent the shame of using the bathroom by using it at 3am, the dogs will rat you out and start barking like you’re trying to steal something.

Unless you’re a man that is completely comfortable doing the unmentionable, you’re going to go through this while living at the clinic.  So before you arrive to do your time, develop the skills of a bathroom ninja.

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Fun fact: Poor Yam didn’t poop for 3 whole days after having moved into the clinic.

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