Hef the rooster stars in New Zealand’s first telenovela as El Pollo Magnifico, the flamboyantly gorgeous and exceedingly estupido Cassanova of Te Matai Road.

Aye Caliente!

Alone in his coop with no one to admire his hotness, Hef is seduced by the siren’s call of the neighbor’s chicken coop.  Driven mad with desire, Hef steals away for forbidden rendezvous with los pollos de ill reputo.

But alas, the neighbor will not let this stand.  Hef is chased away again and again.  Until one morning, on the other side of her front door, Nikki, Hef’s keeper, hears the muffled sounds of our lovesick poultry.  She opens the door and lo!  Hef has been stuffed into an empty burlap sack and left on the doorstep with the warning “should he breach the threshold of the neighbor’s coop ever again, Hef will be separated from his head.”

Aye Caramba!

El Pollo Magnifico refuses to be kept from his pollos de pasion prohibida!  But frantic with worry for our hero rooster, Nikki arranges for the arrival of Hef’s very own senoritas, the Princesses Layer, von Possom, Buttercup, and Sofia.

However, the princesses, newly liberated from chicken jail were not ready for life on the outside.  Nor were they ready for Hef’s rooster dance of seduction, la lambada de sexy.  Unfortunately for everyone, the princesses opened what was later identified as un can de whoop ass and unaccustomed to such displays of white trash brawlin’, Hef escapes to the comfort of his pollos cholas.

What will happen to our lovesick hero?  Will the princesses soften to Hef’s charms?  Will the lusty neighbor hens be the end of our favorite idioto delicioso?

Tune in next week for more of “El Pollo Magnifico”

Dare to resist

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