We’ve hired International Pet Transport to help up import our cats to New Zealand.  There is a checklist of 28 things to take care of to get them through the process. One of them is a request for profiles of each of them. This is what I wrote:

MOJO (the big grey tabby) is usually a lover, not a fighter. He’s scared around new people, but if he warms up to you he’ll be your friend for life. He reminds me of Lenny from “Of Mice and Men” – big and sweet and kind of dumb.

MAB (the tortitabby) is a scaredycat, still mostly feral after living with us for 11 years. She will probably play dead for most of the trip. She’s strongly bonded with Mojo, so whenever possible please keep them near each other.

GORDITO (the black one) has been known throughout history by many names: The Great Beast, Baphomet, the Devourer of Worlds. He is probably the Antichrist. If he could set you on fire with the power of his hate, you wouldn’t be able to read this right now because your eyes would be ablaze. If you get too close he will try to flay the skin from your bones and eat your soul. This cat is an asshole.

I think that’s pretty accurate.