That’s the title of one of my favorite stories written by David Sedaris and it perfectly describes the feeling I have as I wait the final 24 hours before the competition semester results are released.  If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend you run, not walk, to your nearest bookstore and buy his book, “Me Talk Pretty One Day”.

In this story, Sedaris asks his Dutch friend about their local Christmas customs and is delighted and horrified to hear that Jolly Old St. Nick is replaced by a tall, thin man wearing the long robes from his former position as the Bishop of Turkey.  And instead of eight tiny, flying reindeer, he arrives with six to eight black men.  If children have been good, the former Bishop of Turkey and his traveling companions come in the night and fill the child’s shoes with candies and treats.  But if the child has been bad, they would instead beat and kick him with a switch; however the modern story has replaced this violence and now they simply pretend to beat and kick you.  If the child has been extremely naughty, after beating and kicking they would then stuff the kid into a sack and take him with them to Spain.

And so that is how I’m now feeling.  Will I wake up to sweets in my shoes or will I be stuffed in a sack for a most unfortunate trip to Spain?  We’ll know tomorrow.

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