Let me give you a tour of our new home.

Our first stand alone home. Finally no more crazy neighbors threatening to shit in my eye. Not even joking.

Notice the awesome skeleton key.

Notice the awesome keyhole.

Notice the awesome 60’s decor.  And we’re not talking 60’s inspired Mad Men styled decor.  No, this is original in all its wonderful avocado green glory.  Drink it in, I know you’re jealous.  But sometimes you have to hold your tongue when joking that things seem out of date.  Upon first glance I assumed the stove was original to the bungalow but then the landlord explained he just purchased it.

"It's not from the 70's, it's from New Zealand" (Flight of the Conchords)

But wait, there’s more!  The furniture styling can only be described as budget-friendly monastic austere.  I must admit, my first reaction upon seeing this was for a long afternoon of shopping at IKEA followed by a well deserved late lunch with cocktails.  And then I remembered there is no IKEA , I have no job and there will be no more lunches with cocktails.  Steve was quick to point out that our original goal was to shed all of the stuff we had accumulated over the years in exchange for an overseas adventure and that this was all my idea in the first place.  And hey, we have a lock that requires a skeleton key.  A SKELETON KEY!

And now for the piece de resistance – the toilet.  The skeleton key, keyhole and toilet create a triumvirate of extreme awesomeness that cannot be topped.  That’s not even a toilet handle; it’s some sort of whirligig where you essentially wind up the toilet to make it flush.  I mean COME ON!  So totally worth traveling to a different hemisphere and across the international date line for that alone.

Some people find happiness in the eyes of their newborn baby, I find mine in the eyes of my alien toilet.