There’s an odd dichotomy about water pressure here. In America, we don’t take showers, we take deluges – but our toilets are so heavily regulated that the first flush is basically just to clear its throat.

Here it’s different, at least in our apartment. The toilet harnesses the power of the mighty Manawatu River. You have to stand well back, or you might get sucked in.

On the other hand, taking a shower is like being spat upon by sparrows.